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AFTER THE NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS WEAR OFF

It’s February. And while many of us hit our stride in the New Year, there comes a point where you can experience burn out.

The high hopes and ambitions of January 1 may start to feel out of reach.

Yet, as a visionary, a leader, a trailblazer, you can’t afford to slow down. The wrong week of downtime could equate to six months of lost momentum.

 

SO, WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN THE NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS WEAR OFF? 

 

Here are a few ways you can put some POWER behind your new goals:

  1. Set bite sized goals.

Listen. Rome was NOT built in a day and neither are great corporations built over night. The beautiful things in life don’t happen overnight. They happen little by little. Brick by brick. Step by step.

Break down your goals into small, attainable chunks and track your progress.

Health entrepreneur and blogger, Kraig Becker said, “One of the biggest reasons people fail to stick with their resolutions is that they often set really big goals for themselves that are virtually impossible to reach. When they realize later just how difficult it will be to achieve those goals, they get overwhelmed with the daunting task ahead of them and often end up abandoning their efforts altogether.”

So, while it is great to create PUSH goals that will stretch you, the right amount of “push” mixed with the momentum success brings, can help expedite your progress.

 

  1. Check in on your progress regularly

Too many times do we write down our goals and never visit them again. We create our business strategy and then walk away, leaving behind all of the work, collaboration and mental labor we’ve contributed towards building something that matters.

Having the right metrics are critical to your confidence, your ability to move forward and your long-term success. If you are driving without a roadmap, how would you know where you were going? You need a clear vision of what success should look like.

Zip Recruiter said, “Instead of saying that you want to lose 20 pounds over the course of the year, work towards losing five pounds by the end of March. Doing this makes your entire resolution feel a little more attainable.”

 

  1. Don’t do it alone

You’ve heard the saying “Teamwork makes the dream work”! And it’s true. When you band together as a team, you can find the energy and accountability you need as a collective to keep your personal and business goals intact.

Get your team together, set goals and have everyone hold one another accountable. This can help your teams gain the speed and support needed to transcend past success and dig into something new.

An article in The New York Times said, “You may find online support groups and forums (on Facebook or not) full of people who are reaching for the same goal. But real life groups can help too. “

Apps like Slack, Asana and BaseCamp can provide the communications mechanisms your business needs to remain accountable.

 

  1. Celebrate! 

Celebrate your achievements. It can be so easy to focus on the next milestone when you accomplish a goal, but celebrating your goals trains your brain to drive any more towards future goals by providing a sort of mental payoff.

Motivate employees with an end-of-the-month party or special recognition when hitting an important goal. It only helps keep employees engaged and motivated to move forward to higher heights.

The Law of Expectation

If I sow, I reap. If I give, it will be given to me. If I knock, the door will be opened. These are all conditional statements that are used in our everyday lives as we work diligently to get out equal or more than we put in. It’s the law of expectation. Without prompting, l’ve grown accustomed to it. It wasn’t spoken of, it wasn’t intentionally or strategically taught, no one told me what was supposed to happen, I just expected it! So what happens when people don’t get the memo? What happens when the law is broken?

 

Some of us who have experienced the violation of this lawbreaker feel violated and quite disappointed. This disappointment carries over into areas of our lives where we begin to either lower our expectations or have none at all. Are expectations a bad thing? ABSOLUTELY NOT! What makes expectations challenging are when they are unspoken.

 

As I stated earlier, there were some things in my life that I just expected. Notice I said things, not people. You see, when we put expectations on people assuming that they should know what we need and how we need it, we lose every…single…time. This happens all the time in relationships. Lisa thought John should know what she likes, so when John comes in with flowers instead of an Edible Arrangement, the whole week shuts down! Are you guilty? Has this happened to you?

 

I sometimes get the question, “Do I need to repeat my expectations all time?” My answer, “As long as it takes the person to get it.” Expectations can be scary only when we shut ourselves down and are not open to hearing what is being said. Let’s be clear, expectations, especially in relationships, are for you, not the other person.

 

Has a relationship been damaged or bruised because of an unspoken expectation? If so, what can you do to communicate it effectively?

 

 

 

 

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When Hope Seems to Be Distant

Oh the things unspoken regarding the cost of success. Whether it’s success in business, marriage, parenting, or a relationship, there’s a process that must be endured to receive the abundant overflow we so desperately desire. Sometimes going through circumstances and situations, we may feel like our hand is forced and our capacity to make good decisions is limited. Have you ever felt that God wanted you to do something…no, you were CERTAIN that He wanted you to do it, but things didn’t turn out the way you expected? As a matter of fact, they begin to spiral out of control…out of YOUR control. May I offer that when things spiral out of YOUR control, it’s normally an indication that God wants TOTAL control?

 

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I Should Have Given Up…

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I realized that I could have, probably should have given up, but then I made the decision not to. Actually, I refused the option.  I heard a pastor say that when you’re called to something or someone, giving up is not an option.

 

There’s no doubt that with life comes heartaches, failures, and sometimes defeat, but the determining factor is what you do with it, how you respond to it. Understanding that from the beginning, helps to eliminate the things that can sometimes be major distractions.

 

We must all be clear that there is a constant battle between our past, (sometimes our present) and our destiny; between being mediocre, good, and great;  We are pulled into what we were rather than what we are destined to become. It’s easy to turn around and go back to what we are familiar with, the comfort zone.  Success and excellence isn’t hard, it’s just that mediocrity is easier.  Being a person of integrity and character isn’t that hard, it’s just that cutting corners and telling “white lies” is easier. The problem with that is, when we go for what’s comfortable and what’s easier we really don’t pay attention to the things it has attached to it; such as, depression, oppression, mediocrity and lack. All we see is the fact that we don’t have to put as much effort into that place.

 

I remember growing up in a place that I thought was pretty awesome. Everyone around me seemed to be happy, with occasional depression and frustration, but hey, they were okay after a while. I grew up thinking that this was life, the way it should be, until I began to go outside of my normal surroundings. You see, once exposed to different people, places, and things I began to see that there was more. I began to understand that my normal wasn’t everyone’s normal. I set out to do some things that challenged me to have a fresh perspective of life. I set out to make friends in places that I wouldn’t normally make them. I began to eat in places that I wouldn’t normally frequent. I say all of this to help you to see that in order to get something different, you’ve got to do something different…you’ve got to shift your mindset and your thinking and align it with the principles of God’s Word. Opportunities are unlimited, but it’s your decision to maximize your moment and be ready when opportunity meets preparation.

 

Don’t allow your current or past situation to make the decision for you. The power is yours…TAKE IT BACK!

 

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The Mango Too Good to Stop Eating

My 8-year old daughter watched me on her tippy toes as I cut a mango we had just gotten. She was so excited to get it because it is one of her favorite fruits. After a while of eating it, her smile turned into a frown. I asked what was wrong and she said that it was good, but it was hurting her mouth. Now, I assume it was the amount of acid (although it’s low amount) in the fruit, so I told her to stop eating it for a minute. As I turned to do something else, I looked back and she was still eating it! I asked her why was she still eating the mango that she has just complained about, and she told me, “Because it’s sooo good!”

 

I couldn’t help but think of the things that we find it hard to separate ourselves from because at that moment, it seems “sooo good”. A person, a job, a diet, an attitude; all of these can bring us to such a place of satisfaction and comfort, that we don’t want to do anything different and it causes us to be stagnant. Everything that is good to us doesn’t mean that it is good for us.

 

The thing about my daughter’s experience is that she felt the sting. She felt that something wasn’t right, but her senses overrode that feeling and pursued the enjoyment that it brought for that moment. That can be a dangerous place to be in. When you feel the sting, pay attention to it and don’t allow fear to override the discomfort. Many of us are in the same headspace and position that we’ve been in for years, whether personally, spiritually or professionally, because “it’s sooo good”.

 

Whether your “sooo good” has hindered you from applying for that next level position or taking a financial risk to invest, don’t be driven by the taste of comfort, but be motivated by the sting of pursuit.

 

 

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Success Comes with a Cost

Anyone who has had any level of success could probably tell you that there was a sacrifice that came along with it.  Although I love the thought of success, I must say that sacrifice makes me cringe.  It’s not the word or the act, but its not knowing what will be required of me.  What exactly will I need to do to walk in the promise and purpose for my life?

 

I meet many people who are like me; they definitely want to be successful, but when you start talking about the things they need to give up to get there, well, that’s another story.  In order to shift a mindset, making a drastic change in someone’s situation, there has to be total commitment and surrender.  The question always becomes, “How bad do you want it?”

 

Success looks different for everyone.  For some, it has nothing to do with money, and for others it has everything to do with it.  You have to know what your success looks like to be able to identify and celebrate it when it arrives.  If not, you’ll live your life chasing your tail feeling hopeless and empty because you never got to that place.  I’d like to suggest that you stop, breathe and reevaluate…often.  In doing so, you allow yourself to make necessary adjustments and you are able to see that the sacrifice was worth everything expended.

 

When people ask me what is my greatest fear, I tell them, “To leave this world with my assignment undone.”   With that being said, any sacrifice that I make to obtain what I see as success is worth EVERYTHING! My sacrifice goes beyond me; it’s my legacy.  Define your success, make the sacrifice and boldly live life abundantly!

 

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Pressing Past the Plateau

I love my #totalwoman attitude! My mindset is to live a healthy life personally, spiritually and professionally.  Within the perimeters of my personal living is exercise.  I didn’t realize how many women don’t like that word! LOL! There are days I wake up on time racing out the front door, ready to get my workout on, and then there are days when it takes a little longer than normal to put my feet on the floor.  Once I’m in the gym, I am committed to giving 45mins to an hour of dedicated time to my body.  I don’t have a trainer and I like to think of myself as self-motivated. Herein lies the problem.  When I am lifting weights and it starts to burn or hurt, I put them down.  I figure why put myself through such pain.  Even going through a process of losing weight, I plateaued.  I couldn’t lose anymore weight than I had already lost for about 2 weeks.  I quickly realized I had to do something different. I had to switch it up!  So I spoke with someone who had a little more experience in the weight room.  They told me that when I started to feel the pain and burn, it was an indication that my muscles were being stretched and getting the workout they need to become stronger.  Well, why didn’t someone say that at the beginning?!! ☺

 

 

As we are pushing, pursuing our hopes, dreams and calling it gets painful, tiring and starts to burn, so we decide to stop.  Sometimes we say, “Maybe it’s really not for me” or “Maybe it’s just not my time” when the truth is, you have to keep pressing to see the result.  I’ve read about so many that have pushed and pressed, then quit only to find that they were “3 feet from gold” (which is an amazing book by the way).

 

 

What I love about working out is seeing the results.  No, they don’t happen overnight, but I do know that I am stronger and my endurance is longer because of it.  You may not be where you want to be in life right now, but know that if you are consistent, you become stronger and your endurance becomes longer.  Maybe like me, you feel like you’ve plateaued.  If that’s the case, it’s time to do something different.  You may need a coach (hint, hint), supplements or a different regimen.  Whatever it is, recognize that something has to change and it starts with you!  Don’t settle for less, when greater is only arms length away!

 

 

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Things I learned my first year of being an entrepreneur…FULL-TIME:

  1. Trust God
  2. Know that it’s God and not you
  3. Have a sensitive ear
  4. Don’t allow your feelings to dictate the success of your day
  5. Laziness is not an option if you want to eat
  6. Living the dream costs (it is a sacrifice)
  7. Always prioritize
  8. Always compartmentalize
  9. Control what you allow into your space
  10. Write everything down
  11. Embrace where you are to appreciate where you’re going
  12. Choose your friends carefully.  Surrounding yourself with “yes people” only makes you weak
  13. Use your energy wisely
  14. Take responsibility for the decisions you make
  15. Don’t use social media to express your hurts, pains or disappointments; that’s what friends, counselors and pastors are for
  16. Realize that you are a one-of-a-kind original.  People may be doing what you do, but everyone’s not called to do it
  17. Take risk even when scared, often
  18. Don’t be afraid to be wrong
  19. Always be a student
  20. Always give back (even when no one else recognizes it)
  21. Prepare like you believe what you’re praying for will happen
  22. Believe in yourself when nobody else does
  23. Be resilient
  24. Being healthy is a necessity, not an option
  25. Your family never gets what’s left over, they deserve to get the best of you

 

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Coloring Outside the Lines

Remember how important it was to color within the lines when we were children?  I can remember tracing my outside lines to ensure my pictures had even more definition around the perimeter.  Within the lines was not just the rule of the coloring activity; little did I know, it would teach me how to live a confined life. Anything that made me uncomfortable was considered coloring outside the lines and that was unacceptable.

 

Growing older and experiencing life soon taught me that staying within the lines was only for those who wanted to play it safe.  The lines that I traced to make my outside lines more defined only represented my need to ensure I was safe – nothing in, nothing out.  I soon realized that this was not the way I was designed to live (in comfort and within limits), so slowly I began color freely.

 

Maybe your life looks like this.  Maybe you’re trying so hard to color within the confines of the lines that you’ve become bored and restrained, not tapping into the creative side of who you are.  Maybe you’ve been trapped so long that you don’t know were to start. Here are some ideas:

 

  1. Break out of the monotony.  Doing the same things over and over foster routine, but it can also allow you to be so comfortable that you ignore signs of the necessity to break out of the ordinary.  Take a different route home, buy some fresh flowers for your desk, get a new hairstyle…whatever it is, make it different and make it fun!
  2. Try new things.  Start small; a new restaurant, something new on the menu, a Grand Opening of a retail store.  If you don’t change your palette, you become stuck and life passes you by with more to it than you’ve been willing to discover.  Try SOMETHING new, and even if you don’t like it, it’s okay because your portfolio has now been expanded and you have more to share with others.
  3. Smile.  This can be a big one for most because life has worn you down. Staying within the lines tells you to only smile at what makes you happy, coloring outside the lines says I smile because whatever my situation is, I will be happy. This simple action can turn a world right side up at any given moment.

 

Don’t think of your borderless canvas as messy, think of it as an opportunity to experience freedom! Art is meant to be an expression, EXPRESS! Go beyond where you are and allow yourself to fly!

 

 

 

Kashonna Holland is a Speaker, Life Coach and Writer. With contagious energy, a vibrant smile, and straightforward message, Kashonna passionately and purposefully journeys alongside women from the point of breaking through the process of breakthrough – personally, professionally, and spiritually.

 

Click here to schedule your Fresh Perspective Life Coaching session with SK!

 

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