Is There Such A Thing As Work-Life Balance?

In this world of quick and easy, fast and faster and wanting it right now, having work-life balance can be non-existent. Some of us think of work-life balance as 50/50, but it is a far cry from that. You’ll find times in your life where one thing requires more attention than the other.  It’s all about time and priority.  Sometimes being driven by your own unrealistic expectations can lead you to crash and burn.

 

Last Sunday on Girlfriend Chat with Kashonna, we discussed work-life balance and decided that we’d begin calling it work-life harmony, in an effort to move towards a more enjoyable and fulfilling life.  If you missed the opportunity to join us, check out the video below.

 

 

When Hope Seems to Be Distant

Oh the things unspoken regarding the cost of success. Whether it’s success in business, marriage, parenting, or a relationship, there’s a process that must be endured to receive the abundant overflow we so desperately desire. Sometimes going through circumstances and situations, we may feel like our hand is forced and our capacity to make good decisions is limited. Have you ever felt that God wanted you to do something…no, you were CERTAIN that He wanted you to do it, but things didn’t turn out the way you expected? As a matter of fact, they begin to spiral out of control…out of YOUR control. May I offer that when things spiral out of YOUR control, it’s normally an indication that God wants TOTAL control?

 

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Things I learned my first year of being an entrepreneur…FULL-TIME:

  1. Trust God
  2. Know that it’s God and not you
  3. Have a sensitive ear
  4. Don’t allow your feelings to dictate the success of your day
  5. Laziness is not an option if you want to eat
  6. Living the dream costs (it is a sacrifice)
  7. Always prioritize
  8. Always compartmentalize
  9. Control what you allow into your space
  10. Write everything down
  11. Embrace where you are to appreciate where you’re going
  12. Choose your friends carefully.  Surrounding yourself with “yes people” only makes you weak
  13. Use your energy wisely
  14. Take responsibility for the decisions you make
  15. Don’t use social media to express your hurts, pains or disappointments; that’s what friends, counselors and pastors are for
  16. Realize that you are a one-of-a-kind original.  People may be doing what you do, but everyone’s not called to do it
  17. Take risk even when scared, often
  18. Don’t be afraid to be wrong
  19. Always be a student
  20. Always give back (even when no one else recognizes it)
  21. Prepare like you believe what you’re praying for will happen
  22. Believe in yourself when nobody else does
  23. Be resilient
  24. Being healthy is a necessity, not an option
  25. Your family never gets what’s left over, they deserve to get the best of you

 

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The Process of Pruning

My daughter needed to get her ends trimmed.  She was so upset that a couple of inches had to be cut off.  We went out of town and the whole time she complained about how short her hair was.  After a while, I told her that she was really overdoing it and needed to be okay with her hair trim.  I told her that in order for her hair to grow, it was necessary to trim her ends.

 

I often wonder how many of us have the same thought process as my daughter did.  We would rather walk around underdeveloped and have the appearance of looking good and healthy, but we’re really not.  As a matter of fact, we’re okay with not cutting off what needs to be cut because it takes away from the perception that others have of us.  We talk about how much we want to grow, but are not willing to do what is necessary to do it. We are not willing to make the sacrifices that need to be made, nor go through the process that it entails, realizing that those sacrifices lead to healthier, better and stronger lives.

 

*Pruning: to rid or clear of (anything superfluous or undesirable)

Pruning is common practice in orchard and vineyard management for the improvement of flowering and fruiting.  Incorrect pruning can cause flower and fruit loss and leave the plant weak and vulnerable to disease or insect damage

 

There is no doubt pruning is crucial.  It is what we MUST do to experience change not only for ourselves, but for those we refuse to let go of.

 

 

Kashonna Holland is a Speaker, Life Coach and Writer. With contagious energy, a vibrant smile, and straightforward message, Kashonna passionately and purposefully journeys alongside women from the point of breaking through the process of breakthrough – personally, professionally, and spiritually.

 

Click here to schedule your Fresh Perspective Life Coaching session with SK!

 

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The Benefits of a Mentorship

Mentoring sometimes is a lot more challenging than most people think. It is teaching someone how to embrace their uniqueness and become the best they can be in it. It’s encouraging someone to slowly peel the layers of their past life back, embrace it and understand that it has made them who they are and who they will soon become. Mentoring is a relationship; and just like any other relationship, you have great days and you have not so great days, but you are committed to stay in the game.

 

I have had the pleasure and honor of mentoring quite a few beautiful women in my time. Some of them have been rewarding and others have made me question my call to ever do it again. Either way, there are things that I have mastered and things that I have learned along the way. Mentoring takes a determination that can sometimes be frustrating and tiresome, but the transformation you see in one life can give you the energy needed to press for others.

 

I have invited one of my mentees, Nadine Burroughs, to come and share the value of a mentoring relationship with our readers. This will help give some insight from both perspectives.

 

The Mentee Prospective:

 

There are many benefits of being in a healthy mentoring relationship; however, I will narrow that very broad list down to three cornerstone benefits that I have received over the years.

 

1. Accountability – One of the chief benefits of entering into a mentorship is mutual accountability. It is like a shoring post or undergirding; it upholds you when you feel that you don’t have the wherewithal to endure or journey through. It provides a sustainable partnership that fosters growth and repudiates regression or stagnation. There are times when this can seem extremely inconvenient, it’s usually during those times when we want to do something that is contrary to what we know is right or best. Accountability forces a raising of the bar and deliverance on that which was promised without compromise.
2. Wisdom. Insight. Guidance. – I love being around people, particularly women, who have been there and done that. Mentors typically have had experiences in areas that we have yet to encounter and thereby a greater understanding of how to navigate through those things. I like to call that offering obstacle awareness. The beauty of having a mentor is that you can pull on them at any time for wisdom, insight, and guidance. Mentors are great sounding boards; I run my most random thoughts/ideas by my mentor followed by a one-word question, “Thoughts?” Though I do not always agree with or follow every piece of advice, I do have an appreciation for the objective perspective that’s offered. It gives incentive for me to take a step back and change the lens through which I am viewing the situation.
3. Support and Encouragement – One of the greatest assurances that mentorship provides is that someone is committed to journeying alongside me…even through the trenches. It’s comforting to know that I am not alone on the road to self-discovery or dream actualization and that someone is as enthusiastic and dedicated to the manifestation of the aforementioned as I am. As we, mentees, unmask ourselves, mentors are privy to the good, the bad, and the ugly, yet they are committed all the same reminding us of who we were created to be and all that we’re purposed to do. They continue to breathe words of life into us regardless of the present situation or circumstance. In my experience, unwavering support and encouragement has proven to be life transforming.

 

The benefits of mentorship are invaluable. When both parties are fully engaged and committed, growth in virtually every area of the mentee’s life is inevitable. However, it’s important to note that growth should happen in the mentor as well. As we challenge, promote, and provoke growth in our mentees, we should also seek out growth opportunities. Mentorship is not for the faint of heart; it is far from a walk in the park, but when you are dedicated and determined, you will experience undeniable success and fulfillment.

 

 

 

 

 

Kashonna Holland is a Speaker, Life Coach and Writer. With contagious energy, a vibrant smile, and straightforward message, Kashonna passionately and purposefully journeys alongside women from the point of breaking through the process of breakthrough – personally, professionally, and spiritually.

 

Nadine Burroughs is a prolific writer, passionate speaker, and dedicated mentor. She embodies the attributes of an audacious leader and humble servant. Nadine has a particular motivation to help individuals endure adversity, overcome obstacles and stereotypes and to experience a life of true happiness and freedom.

 

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3 Ways to Overcome the Desire to Give Up!

One of the easiest things to do in life is to give up. Let’s face it, if something is not going the way we anticipated it to go, it’s easier to just walk away.  It’s why divorce rates are at an all-time high, why some parents chose to walk away from children and why some are overtaken by sickness and disease.  It’s just easier to give up than to fight.

 

Then there are those of us who use the tug of war for our benefit.  What makes us fight for what we want?  What makes us stand even when we don’t want to?  What makes us gird up for battle at the most terrifying moments of our lives?  Two words, a decision. Read more

Losing Your Emotional Baggage

The New Year has begun and the gyms are packed.  If there’s a company promoting any kind of way to help with weight loss, this is their time to shine!  There are new goals ready and waiting to be achieved.  There’s no doubt that this time of year brings attention to what’s going on both inside and outside of our bodies.  Although focusing on physical weight would be much easier to blog about, I’d like to share a little about mental and emotional weight.

 

Did you know that most women, who dealt with emotional baggage (weight) in their childhood, continue dealing with it as an adult?  About 80% of 21 year olds that were abused as children meet criteria for at least one psychological disorder.* This is not an issue that we can overlook or ignore.  For most of us, it’s the pink elephant in the room.  It’s an issue that we’ve not been taught to deal with, leaving us totally ignorant. Some of us didn’t really recognize that something was wrong in our families until we became adults and started asking questions. Some are too afraid to ask questions because of what we may find. Read more

How to Press Past Discouragement

One of the things that can be a huge factor in depression is discouragement.  When you feel all hope is lost, your back is against the wall or nothing is working out, the potential for discouragement comes in like a flood.  It’s hard to see any light in a tunnel of darkness.  An indication of discouragement is to start evaluating every single decision you’ve made in the past.  “If I didn’t accept this job would my life be better?” “I shouldn’t have spent the money on those shoes.” “I wonder what would have happened if I married _____.”  These questions and statements can cause one to feel that they live in a downward spiral of bad decisions and unfortunate situations that may never change, resulting in a sense of hopelessness and discouragement.  In order to turn discouragement and hopelessness around, here are a few things that can help: Read more

The Draining of Complaining

I have come to the conclusion that complaining is draining. It steals everything from you. It finds ways to creep in at the moments when you least expect it. It finds the things that others find exciting and are grateful for and rains on the parade. It sucks the life out of anything around it. Oh, and it LOVES company! It loves to get on the phone and tag team on situations that are already suffering. Complaining finds fault, discontentment, and dissatisfaction in everything it experiences. Here are a few synonyms for complaining that I thought to be interesting:

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This Christmas: Staying Focused on the Main Thing

Christmas is a time of love, family, friends and laughter.  It is a time where all hearts and minds come together for one common goal, to bring the gift of holiday cheer. While there can be an immeasurable amount of excitement that comes with the holiday season and gift exchange, there’s also a feeling of loneliness and depression that comes for those who aren’t as fortunate. It’s important that we keep our eyes, ears and hearts open to those who are in need of not just economic assistance, but also emotional encouragement.  Whether you are alone without a lot of money, or can splurge with family all around, the main thing is giving beyond yourself.  It’s what God did for us when He gave us Jesus.  He gave all that He had.  He sacrificed more than we could ever imagine.  He gave us an example of what real love looked like.  Here are some ideas to help you stay focused on what really matters:   Read more