Let’s Be Clear

The one thing that can be bad for your life as a whole is ambiguity.  There is nothing like trying to go somewhere without knowing where you’re going. Being on a journey with no destination in mind is really just taking a drive.  Unfortunately, that’s where many people are in everything they are doing, whether it’s their personal, professional or spiritual journey.

 

I remember being in a state of confusion not really knowing which way I was going in my life, nor how I was going to get there.  The odds were against me and I was a statistic of statistics.  Young mother, divorced, unstable financially, there was nothing in my life that screamed success. Making the decisions I made only guaranteed that I would end up loveless, with a poverty stricken life, producing a legacy that would follow.  Then one day, I’m not sure when it was, something happened inside of me; I realized there was hope.

 

Often times it only takes a glimmer of sunshine for me to put on my shades. It only takes a little love to realize that I’m lovable.  It only took a little hope to know that I am worth more than I was giving myself credit for.  Slowly, but surely, I began to get clear about who I was and ultimately, where I was going.  That was the beginning.  When you understand who you are, you start to understand who need to be around you and what is considered acceptable and not so acceptable.

 

When you are clear, you bring clarity to everyone else about his or her perception of you.  Now beware, this can make a few people upset and even mad, but clarity doesn’t compromise.  Clarity breeds success! If you haven’t tasted success, ask yourself how clear you’ve been about your future.

 

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The Extreme Mental Makeover

When deciding to become an entrepreneur, there were habits that I knew needed to be broken in order to be successful. There was no doubt that my mindset had to shift along with my work efforts. No longer did I have the privilege of direct deposits into my accounts on a guaranteed payday; it was up to me to now generate the income I needed. I needed a complete transformation mentally if I were going to actually do this entrepreneur thing full-time.

 

When I think about the attitude I needed to push past the “No’s”, it makes me appreciate my “Yes’s” that much more. I had to tear down my pride to understand that just because I believed everyone would like me doesn’t mean they would actually become a client. Once I got an understanding that the industry I was in was overwhelmed with go-getters, I needed to truly relook at my brand and my services.

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Things I learned my first year of being an entrepreneur…FULL-TIME:

  1. Trust God
  2. Know that it’s God and not you
  3. Have a sensitive ear
  4. Don’t allow your feelings to dictate the success of your day
  5. Laziness is not an option if you want to eat
  6. Living the dream costs (it is a sacrifice)
  7. Always prioritize
  8. Always compartmentalize
  9. Control what you allow into your space
  10. Write everything down
  11. Embrace where you are to appreciate where you’re going
  12. Choose your friends carefully.  Surrounding yourself with “yes people” only makes you weak
  13. Use your energy wisely
  14. Take responsibility for the decisions you make
  15. Don’t use social media to express your hurts, pains or disappointments; that’s what friends, counselors and pastors are for
  16. Realize that you are a one-of-a-kind original.  People may be doing what you do, but everyone’s not called to do it
  17. Take risk even when scared, often
  18. Don’t be afraid to be wrong
  19. Always be a student
  20. Always give back (even when no one else recognizes it)
  21. Prepare like you believe what you’re praying for will happen
  22. Believe in yourself when nobody else does
  23. Be resilient
  24. Being healthy is a necessity, not an option
  25. Your family never gets what’s left over, they deserve to get the best of you

 

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The Importance of Compartmentalizing

In our everyday lives there are things that are pressing and then things that are not so much. When we put everything in our ‘pressing’ box, it then becomes a priority, leaving us stressed and ultimately burned out.   I want to give you 3 ways to compartmentalize, giving yourself permission to rest and allowing yourself the chance to work efficiently and effectively.

 

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Coloring Outside the Lines

Remember how important it was to color within the lines when we were children?  I can remember tracing my outside lines to ensure my pictures had even more definition around the perimeter.  Within the lines was not just the rule of the coloring activity; little did I know, it would teach me how to live a confined life. Anything that made me uncomfortable was considered coloring outside the lines and that was unacceptable.

 

Growing older and experiencing life soon taught me that staying within the lines was only for those who wanted to play it safe.  The lines that I traced to make my outside lines more defined only represented my need to ensure I was safe – nothing in, nothing out.  I soon realized that this was not the way I was designed to live (in comfort and within limits), so slowly I began color freely.

 

Maybe your life looks like this.  Maybe you’re trying so hard to color within the confines of the lines that you’ve become bored and restrained, not tapping into the creative side of who you are.  Maybe you’ve been trapped so long that you don’t know were to start. Here are some ideas:

 

  1. Break out of the monotony.  Doing the same things over and over foster routine, but it can also allow you to be so comfortable that you ignore signs of the necessity to break out of the ordinary.  Take a different route home, buy some fresh flowers for your desk, get a new hairstyle…whatever it is, make it different and make it fun!
  2. Try new things.  Start small; a new restaurant, something new on the menu, a Grand Opening of a retail store.  If you don’t change your palette, you become stuck and life passes you by with more to it than you’ve been willing to discover.  Try SOMETHING new, and even if you don’t like it, it’s okay because your portfolio has now been expanded and you have more to share with others.
  3. Smile.  This can be a big one for most because life has worn you down. Staying within the lines tells you to only smile at what makes you happy, coloring outside the lines says I smile because whatever my situation is, I will be happy. This simple action can turn a world right side up at any given moment.

 

Don’t think of your borderless canvas as messy, think of it as an opportunity to experience freedom! Art is meant to be an expression, EXPRESS! Go beyond where you are and allow yourself to fly!

 

 

 

Kashonna Holland is a Speaker, Life Coach and Writer. With contagious energy, a vibrant smile, and straightforward message, Kashonna passionately and purposefully journeys alongside women from the point of breaking through the process of breakthrough – personally, professionally, and spiritually.

 

Click here to schedule your Fresh Perspective Life Coaching session with SK!

 

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How to Refocus in Chaos

It’s no secret that the pull for our attention in our families, our careers and the media is overwhelming. I would even venture to say that it could be chaotic. Most of the time, we suffer the results of fatigue, stress, mental breakdown, sickness, disease, marital problems, wayward children and other things that we prefer not to accept. Before we know it, these things become our reality and we now have to face the fact that our lives are out of control. Unfortunately, we get to this point before we recognize we must do something.

 

I speak to women on different occasions that are on overload. I remember being one of them. I remember doing everything and trying to be everywhere and actually feeling guilty when I couldn’t. I remember feeling like I had control when I really didn’t. I had convinced myself that I had given my life and schedule to God but I still had a tight grip on it. I made decisions that were unhealthy and unbalanced. By the time I had realized this is where I was, everything began to spiral.

 

One thing I have always taken pleasure in is order. The funny thing is, my life was chaotic and lacking order. I didn’t know how to say “No” and I accepted everything people made me feel guilty for not accepting. When my life began to quickly show results of the mayhem I had warmly embraced, I decided that something was going to change. I didn’t say something had to change, I said something was going to change!

 

There is power in pulling back, shutting it down and regrouping. There is power in unplugging from media, cell phones and computers and getting your life together. There is power in having family meetings and saying, “I know what I’ve accepted in the past, but today is a new day!” The problem becomes, staying focused and keeping order. This cannot be a one-time activity, but must be on going. You must be sensitive enough to know when your life is starting to shift in the wrong direction. It cannot be ignored.

 

In order to refocus, there are a lot of things that can be listed, but I will give you a few to start with:

 

  1. Take Care of Yourself – Self-care for women is very difficult because of our desire to take care of others first. We tend to feel guilty for getting a pedicure, massage, sitting quietly, and getting ice cream without the children or husband. Snap out of it! You can’t give them the best you if you’re torn down.
  2. Take Time to Quiet Yourself – There’s so much going on around us to distract us, we must make a demand on ourselves and our minds to sit in quietness and be refreshed.
  3. Take Time to Listen to Yourself – Don’t ignore what your body is saying. If it’s screaming, “I NEED REST!”, then rest. If it’s saying, “I am sick”, see a doctor and stop pushing it to keep going. If there’s something off and you’re not your normal happy jolly self, make a decision to do something about it and stop ignoring it, especially when it’s been weeks since you’ve smiled. Don’t allow yourself to continue functioning without listening to what your body is saying.

 

I could go on, but let’s focus on these three and master them. Please realize that these things are not one-time fixers, they are on-going maintenance. Make the decision today that living in chaos will not be your norm, and you will refocus so that you can live your life abundantly!

 

 

Kashonna Holland is a Speaker, Life Coach and Writer. With contagious energy, a vibrant smile, and straightforward message, Kashonna passionately and purposefully journeys alongside women from the point of breaking through the process of breakthrough – personally, professionally, and spiritually.

 

Click here to schedule your Fresh Perspective Life Coaching session with SK!

 

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Exceptional Presence

There is something to be said about a woman who can enter a room and command the atmosphere.  There’s even more to be said when she opens her mouth and speaks with authority.  We can’t stop talking even after she leaves because she has not only set the atmosphere and spoken with wisdom, but she has left an imprint on everyone who was in her presence.  This is a woman with an exceptional presence. Most people will think that it has something to do with her outer appearance, and although that’s true to an extent, it’s only part of the whole.

I’d like to offer three things that I believe are a huge factor in having an exceptional presence!

 

  1. Take notice of who’s around you – compliment a look, speak to their child, say something kind to brighten their day!  There’s so much negativity going on in the world today, sometimes people just need a good word of hope.
  2. Take time to correct – when something isn’t right, don’t be afraid to say it; be sure to say it with grace and humility.  Correction requires boldness, but it also requires sensitivity to the situation and the atmosphere.  No one wants to be associated with the angry woman with a chip on her shoulder. When done properly, correction inevitably produces growth.
  3. Take time to listen – this is a hard one when you have a good defensive statement prepared! My girlfriends and I are guilty of talking over one another as we move from one subject to the next, without smooth transition points.  In our excitement to get our words in (partially so we won’t forget them), we must learn to exercise our listening skills.  Good talkers are a dime a dozen, great listeners are a rarity.

 

 

Exercising these three ideas may be a little difficult at first, but when you take it piece by piece and become intentional, it becomes a part of who you are.  When you intentionally stretch yourself beyond your comfort zone, you surpass being great and open yourself up to being EXCEPTIONAL!

 

 

 

Kashonna Holland is a Speaker, Life Coach and Writer. With contagious energy, a vibrant smile, and straightforward message, Kashonna passionately and purposefully journeys alongside women from the point of breaking through the process of breakthrough – personally, professionally, and spiritually.

 

Click here to schedule your Fresh Perspective Life Coaching session with SK!

 

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5 Reasons You Can’t Give Up on Your Dreams!

The moment you start settling is the moment compromise sets in.  It can be a difficult road when you know you are supposed to be somewhere in life and just can’t seem to get there; can’t get breakthrough.  There are moments when it seems easier to just quit.  Think about this:

 

8 out of 10 people give up in pursing their dreams

 

That means that only 2 people stayed in the fight.  Only 2 people thought it was worth aggressively pursuing.  Only 2 people realized what was at stake.  I want to give you 5 reasons why you can’t give up.  Not reasons why you shouldn’t, but reasons why you can’t.  Some people will read this and say, “I already know that”, some will say, “Well she just doesn’t know about my that” and some will say, “That’s it!”  Which one are you?

 

  1. You owe it to God – He gave you everything you have to get what you need.
  2. You owe it to yourself – Stop being so hard on yourself that you can’t move from your past without carrying it into your future
  3. You owe it to your family – not just your immediate family, but the legacy/generation that comes after you
  4. You owe it to the people who haven’t made it where you are – Everybody needs somebody to teach them; someone who took the risk and didn’t allow fear to hold them back
  5. You owe it to the people who need you where you’re going – The top is a lonely place.  Someone who is already there needs to pour into you what they have so that their legacy will continue.  Don’t try to beat them, join them!

 

I heard Doreen Rainey say something the other day that really settled in me.  She said, “If you want a breakthrough, you’ve got to be willing to breakdown.”  Sounds simple enough, but I realized how much I had been trying to stay built up because  I thought breaking down was a sign of weakness.  Let me help you, breaking down is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength!

 

When you recognize that your dreams are not a credit, but a debt owed, you will make whatever sacrifices necessary to pay them off!

 

BE BOLD, BE COURAGEOUS, DREAM BIG and LIVE IT!

 

 

 

Kashonna Holland is a Speaker, Life Coach and Writer. With contagious energy, a vibrant smile, and straightforward message, Kashonna passionately and purposefully journeys alongside women from the point of breaking through the process of breakthrough – personally, professionally, and spiritually.

 

Click here to schedule your Fresh Perspective Life Coaching session with SK!

 

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Understanding the Seasons

A couple of months ago, I attended a conference and the speaker said something that I will not forget.  He said, “Every season is not harvest season.”  That very simple sentence was so impactful!  It’s as if I could suddenly understand everything that was going on in my life through this one sentence.  I, like so many others, had resolved that if something wasn’t happening within the next 24hrs as a result to what I had done the day before, I had failed.  This mindset is accepted in a number of areas including addictions, weight loss and healing.  Though we would like to convince ourselves that what we sow, we will reap in the same hour, it doesn’t exactly happen that way.

 

There are moments when you will feel as an entrepreneur, as a businesswoman, as a mother, as a wife, that your good enough is not enough.  You’ll feel like you are spinning your wheels going in a complete circle and not seeing anything close to your desired results.  Do you stop?  Do you switch and do something else?  Do you keep moving?  Well, stopping should never be an option; only tweaking and rebuilding.  Doing something else never solves the problem if you haven’t dealt with the common denominator – you.  Whether you’re studying for an accreditation exam or certifying your business in its industry, WORK is always behind the process.

 

Always know whether you are cultivating or planting.  When you’re cultivating, you are preparing land.  You are educating yourself, attending workshops, seminars, and conferences to sharpen your skillset.  Although these things are important for this season, it is something that should be happening on a continual basis.  Planting means you are sowing.  You are putting seeds in the ground expecting something to come back to you.  You are probably wondering if these seasons can happen simultaneously.  Absolutely!  You just have to be wise enough to identify which one you are in.

 

Harvest time is the time that we all look forward to!  It’s the time when you appreciate everything you’ve been doing, understanding that it was not in vain.  The feelings of wanting to give up have no space here as you are open and ready to receive.  What most people don’t mention is that what you do in cultivating and planting seasons, whether good or bad, you will reap.  The season changes, the principle does not.

 

Whichever season you are in, I want to encourage you to recognize it, embrace it and use your energy to be effective in it.  You will soon understand that the bitter cold of winter doesn’t last forever, the scorching heat of summer must come to an end, the foliage of fall soon blows away and the beauty of spring is only temporary.  Whether you want them to happen or not, they will happen, the question is, how will you prepare?

 

 

 

 

Kashonna Holland is a Speaker, Life Coach and Writer. With contagious energy, a vibrant smile, and straightforward message, Kashonna passionately and purposefully journeys alongside women from the point of breaking through the process of breakthrough – personally, professionally, and spiritually.

 

Click here to schedule your Fresh Perspective Life Coaching session with SK!

 

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